January 27, 2012
Dear Heart,
What to say to you?
I feel a lot of sadness for the trauma that has been added to your already traumatic life.
I worry that the “machine” you say is invading your body is changing you the way you say it is.
I don’t like thinking about the system robbing the human you of your knowledge of what it is to be human.
I know that you are trying to hold on to your humanity, the parts of you that know what it is to be kind and thoughtful and loving and considerate and safe. I’m so sad that you have to be in danger all the time. It makes no sense. It is as far away from “rehabilitation” as one could ever get. What pains me most is hearing you repeat things I’ve read in gradschool about the way prison affects the psyche. Knowing all these things we still have not changed our system. I am sad that you are a slave. I hope it will not affect you permanently. We won’t let it. When you get out, we will get you a good therapist.
I love you.
-O
