Babe my sweetest heart E,

Today I was so sad and tired and a sad song wouldn’t leave me alone and I slept and slept. I’m still sad and I’m still tired but I love you. I started feeling like I had a bit more fight in me left, though, when I saw an email from KT. She’s doing a great project about prisons. DO you think we’ll ever get rid of prisons? Makes me wonder where we would put all the “bad” people then? That’s really the conundrum- that there is badness, that our world really does have evil in it and we need to address those powers of destruction- to protect ourselves from them. I’m thinking right now (and feeling supported by the emergency sirens I hear from outside that constitute my latest ideas of reference mental issues) that there must be something in looking at the ways older societies dealt with criminality. This is something to research, as there has got to be a better way.

Darling, speaking out is so hard for me to do.

Today was the first time I told anyone other than you and S about this blog in the families.

I wish you were out here and could help me to be more whole.

You’re my number 1…

Thinking about a comment I got on the ole blog a while back from a guy saying that everyone must do their own time alone, that noone can do someone else’s time. Einstein’s theory of relativity would probably support his viewpoint. But the way our lives do me, I keep living you- after all the trauma, to separate now might be my end…

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT CHRISTMAS WITH THE OTHER E FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEEEEAAARRS and TEARS.

I love you so much it makes me talk.

You you you.

Your big sis.

E (i(e(e)O)

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